Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Fear of Falling

I like this guy.
But I’m scared.

I think he likes me, too.
But I’m scared.

We click on every level imaginable-
Mental
Physical
Spiritual
But I’m scared.

He posses EVERY quality I look for in a man
and ones I never thought I needed
nor desired until I met him.
But I’m scared.

Just thinking about him
sends my body out of control.
My heart beats faster,
butterflies ravage my stomach,
I can’t concentrate on anything,
chills race down my spine,
my head spins…

But I’m scared.

Scared that he’s a liar.

Scared that he’s a cheat.

Scared of what may happen
if I stop long enough to give him a chance.

Scared that every moment
I have cherished is
INVALID
to him and only apart of “the game”.

Scared that he is only putting up a façade
to achieve some
malicious or sexual goal.

Scared that I’ll love too soon (which I always do) and have
heart out of commission
once again.

Scared that at the end of it all
I will be crying myself to sleep
wondering why
I even bothered to begin with.

BUT…

He makes me smile.
He makes my heart flutter.
He gives me hope.
He makes me want to love….
him.
No matter how frightening the thought is.






Is my nose opening?
I'm working hard to keep it closed.
I dont want the pollen to attack me.
Sneezing. Ick.
ghost.
CGK: [[BARBiiE]]

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think that you should give this guy a shot genius...a lot of guys put on facades, as well as put on "game", but if your heart truly leads you to his, i think it would be sad for you guys not to experience what you both need to experience with each other...but definitely be sure that it is your heart and God that leads you to him and nothing else...because you or him or the both of you may end up devastated...but it sounds like he's a decent guy...i bet he's cute!...lol :)

TRUGENiiUS said...

thanks for the advice anon. i dont know if he's that cute tho. you know pictures online often lie. but i think its his personality most of all that gets me. cuz he definitely has a face that only his mommy could love.